{"title":"Greeting Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eDark humor greeting cards for every occasion — and some occasions that shouldn't have cards at all. Premium 5×7\" cardstock, blank inside, envelope included.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"this-meeting-could-have-been-an-email-greeting-card","title":"This Meeting Could Have Been an Email — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThis Meeting Could Have Been an Email\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"tagline\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFor everyone slowly dying in Zoom calls\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA darkly relatable greeting card for anyone who's suffered through a pointless meeting. Perfect for coworkers, remote workers, and anyone who's ever wondered why they were invited. Includes tiny skull icon for maximum office angst.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157220622634,"sku":"WD-CARD-MEETING01","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/6e23571a-a299-4770-bdb2-6dd358a660b9.png?v=1771292011"},{"product_id":"lets-keep-in-touch-ouija-board-card","title":"Let's Keep In Touch! — Ouija Board Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eLet's Keep In Touch!\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor when \"I'll text you\" feels too committal and a séance feels just right. This greeting card features a beautifully illustrated Ouija board with the message \"Let's Keep In Touch!\" — because some friendships transcend the mortal plane.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Long-distance friends, goths with a sense of humor, anyone who believes in spirits (or at least spirit fingers).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for your own otherworldly message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157264695594,"sku":"WD-CARD-OUIJA","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/c0946ae4-b758-4987-981e-d0da0aef9973.png?v=1771284623"},{"product_id":"my-therapist-says-i-need-boundaries-greeting-card","title":"My Therapist Says I Need Boundaries — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMy Therapist Says I Need Boundaries, So I'm Leaving\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe perfect card for anyone who's ever overshared at a party and then ghosted everyone for three months. Setting boundaries has never been this passive-aggressive — or this hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Friends in therapy, people who need therapy, your therapist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for boundary-respecting messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157264728362,"sku":"WD-CARD-BOUNDARIES","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/fd234d5b-7daf-4716-b21a-3df4d7cd080a.png?v=1771284754"},{"product_id":"i-brought-snacks-and-emotional-baggage-greeting-card","title":"I Brought Snacks and Emotional Baggage — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eI Brought Snacks and Emotional Baggage\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause showing up empty-handed is rude, but showing up emotionally empty is just Tuesday. At least there are snacks. This card celebrates the beautiful mess of friendship and the healing power of carbs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Movie nights, friend check-ins, anyone carrying more feelings than groceries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for snack-related confessions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157264761130,"sku":"WD-CARD-SNACKS","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/80c429fb-3b3d-4470-aa30-2e6cffc7c895.png?v=1771285132"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-your-divorce-greeting-card","title":"Congrats on Your Divorce! — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eCongrats on Your Divorce! The First One's Always the Hardest\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFinally, a card for the occasion Hallmark forgot. Because sometimes \"congratulations\" is absolutely the right sentiment. Freedom tastes like champagne and updated Netflix passwords.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The newly single, people celebrating their friends' liberation, divorce parties.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for celebratory messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157264826666,"sku":"WD-CARD-DIVORCE","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/0664c553-59d3-4787-95b4-2a86d12d0afc.png?v=1771285567"},{"product_id":"sorry-for-your-loss-i-brought-casserole-greeting-card","title":"Sorry for Your Loss. 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This card says what your heart wants to say: \"I don't know what to do, so I cooked something.\" Sometimes the best comfort comes with a side of dark humor and a foil-covered dish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e When you want to be there but don't know what to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for heartfelt awkwardness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157265449258,"sku":"WD-CARD-CASSEROLE","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/58feec35-21b9-44bc-bd3a-f3a70c4e5d40.png?v=1771323499"},{"product_id":"retirement-every-day-is-saturday-greeting-card","title":"Retirement: Every Day is Saturday — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eRetirement: Where Every Day is Saturday Until You Die\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe most honest retirement card ever printed. No more Monday meetings, no more Friday countdowns — just an eternal weekend stretching into the beautiful void. Congratulations, you've escaped the machine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Retirees, people counting down to retirement, anyone who hates Mondays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for existential well-wishes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157265482026,"sku":"WD-CARD-RETIRE","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/2f2da3cf-0e4c-4853-bdff-ab1d9a706c50.png?v=1771285615"},{"product_id":"i-only-came-for-the-dog-greeting-card","title":"I Only Came for the Dog — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eI Only Came for the Dog\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet's be real — your dog is the reason anyone comes over. This card is the honest truth that every pet owner already knows: the dog is the main character and we're all just supporting cast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dog parents, pet sitters, people who follow more dogs than humans on Instagram.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for dog-related compliments\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157265580330,"sku":"WD-CARD-DOG","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/536269c0-13a9-4542-b709-c9b5d5345094.png?v=1771285631"},{"product_id":"cat-hair-is-my-accessory-greeting-card","title":"Cat Hair Is My Accessory — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eCat Hair Is My Accessory\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLint rollers are for quitters. True cat people wear their feline's shedding with pride — on their black pants, their couch, their food, and occasionally in their mouth. It's fashion, darling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cat lovers, people whose furniture is fur-upholstered, anyone in denial about allergies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside (probably has cat hair on it already)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157265613098,"sku":"WD-CARD-CATHAIR","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/5815e0fb-e9f0-4797-9ef0-9c4b7e378ab1.png?v=1771285647"},{"product_id":"my-dog-is-the-reason-i-get-up-at-5-am-greeting-card","title":"My Dog Is The Reason I Get Up At 5 AM — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMy Dog Is The Reason I Get Up... At 5 AM\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey said getting a dog would improve your routine. They didn't mention the routine would start at 5 AM with frantic barking at absolutely nothing. But those eyes... those stupid adorable eyes make it worth it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sleep-deprived dog owners, early-morning walk survivors, anyone whose alarm clock has a wet nose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 5×7\" card on thick cream cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for sleepy confessions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatching envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"brand\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eA WeirdDelights Original — Dark humor, kind heart.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"WeirdDelights","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51157265645866,"sku":"WD-CARD-5AM","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/4761\/4506\/files\/756f3b4d-3cc7-4b26-b481-bf0c4f47db1a.png?v=1771285696"},{"product_id":"everything-is-temporary-even-this-card-greeting-card","title":"Everything Is Temporary, Even This Card — Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"wd-product\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eEverything Is Temporary, Even This Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA meditation on impermanence, in card form. Nothing lasts forever — not this moment, not this card, not the awkward silence after someone reads this out loud. And somehow, that makes it all more beautiful. Or more terrifying. 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Even the cosmic void has standards. 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No ugly sweater parties, no forced small talk with distant relatives, no fighting over parking at the mall. Just you, your couch, and the warm glow of a screen. 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